I force myself to finish up what I've left. I remember Allah whenever I remembered my late dad. I tried not to remember how long dad has left us; I tried to live in a new life. I pray that my family will be strong and hard like rocks. We won't give in to people easily for once we have taste the bitterness before you people. I cried inside my heart and no ones know how it feels. It gets heavy when I didn't pour it out. And when it’s too heavy, I got upset easily.

Dear Allah, please give us the strength to carry on with our life. It gets pretty quiet and lonely when late dad is not here with us to celebrate the fasting month. I couldn’t believe with my own eyes that last year was the last time we celebrated the festive season as a whole family. I still remembered the words dad spoke to me on the eve of Hari Raya Haji when he was not here with me and brother. He said, "Selamat Hari Raya Haji, jangan tidur lambat!" That was one of the sweetest things late dad spoke to me. Ayah, kakak rindu ayah.

To believe that going Umrah with him was the last vacation for me and him. The last hug he gave to me in front of kaabah. It happened so fast. This sadness I’m going through is indescribable. Its worst than falling in love. I just want to cry as much as I could. I just want to make myself feel better the next day. Nothing goes through my mind except thinking about dad. Thanks for everything, the happiness you gave us, the sacrifices you made for us, its priceless dad. I really miss you dad, we all do. Even grandma misses you.

May Allah bless you and forgive all your sins. Insya Allah Amin. I love you dad.