apa kau melihat dan mendengar tangis kehilangan dariku

I don't know, I miss my dad terribly now. Things would be just fine when he is here with us together. I need time to really accept the truth. Sometimes it just hurts me to realize that dad is not here with us, but he is with God. It just makes me more painful to see that he is buried 7m deep. Wouldn't it be just nice to have him, to have someone that I can call Ayah? I still look through the photos of him because that’s the only way for me to heal my pain. When I look at his photos, I would remember all those memories I had with him since young.

You won't know when your last day would be. The person you love most would leave you at any moment of time, you would never know.

I know this feeling is random, but you wont understand how I really feel actually. i tried to be strong, force myself to be strong when people ask whether im ok or not. It makes sense when people said that crying wont make him comeback, its really true. But by crying it makes me feel better too. I miss his face, his presence the most.

"ternyata kau pergi tuk selamanya, tinggalkan diriku dan cintaku "

I miss calling him, Ayah. I still feel regret for all those things that might hurt his feelings. I just feel that I am a terrible daughter. Maybe this is all the retributions from God to me for not appreciating my dad.

Ya Allah, semoga roh ayah aku dicucuri rahmat dan ampunkan lah dosa dosa aku kepadanya Ya Allah.