Journal

Maybe it's best YOU leave me alone.

It was undone.

Everything was left hanging.

The feelings were mixed up.

Was it just a dream, or am I in a reality?

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Had a dinner at Seoul Garden with my dearie cousins. We had a girls talk. This is the best thing to do when you hang out together. Many things to share, gossip about. Now who says being a bimbo sometimes sucks? hah. Ok I said that once, and I'm acting like a hypocrite. But hey, come on eh, gossip is like a culture in women's society. At least, I didn't gossip all the time, and I am not always dumb.

I am having this weird funny feeling right now. Ouh I am just not good in putting up a nice beautiful sentence for everyone. I am not good in pleasing someone, but I am sure that I am really sincere in everything I do.

I was talking to Kak Nisa and Kak Dut about life partners. You know, like we young ladies tend to think about our Mr Right sometimes. Obviously we will at least have think about when to end our singlehood and all these. And it was an average, age 24-26, young ladies prefer to end their singlehood. According to my personal nurse, heh, Kak Dut, she said, between this age, 24-26, you are fertile. Hmm. heh.

I am going to be 19 soon, 4 months time. And I am still single. hah. Come get me. Ok I sound so desperate. But wait, erm How long does it takes for someone to decide to settle down? How long does it takes to learn that person's inside out, before comes to an agreement that he is your Mr. Right, right?

Ouh after all, marriage is not an easy task. Confirm. Take a look at my brother and Kak Nisa. The Big Day is just one day, but the preparation starts like 2/3 years before it. OMG. It's so tiring. And come to think about it, you know in Singapore, everything is Expensive, and you need to work hard to save up your cash. Especially when you are getting married. Read that again, guys. Anyway, it does not matter if you did not held up your wedding so grand like in a 5-stat hotel. And after that Big Day, what comes next? You need to plan your children's saving, you need to sort out your finance properly. Pay up the tax, insurance, electtricity. OMG. Obviously being a man is not easy. hah.

And on another side, being a woman is also NOT easy ok. Ah you sort that out yoursef. You know, with all the friends you have right now, the ones that grow up together with you. You will be surprised to see that one fine day, they would get hitched, have their own children, its like a cycle.

First stage, you all were single and so yound. Second stage, you guys reached puberty, and learn the basic about life. Third stage, having an attraction on the opposite sex and thinking that is LOVE. But atcually, untill now, I still think its not LOVE. Its just an admire/crush, and influence from western cultures or probably seeing how young adults smooch and hug in the publice, that leads the young teens to fall in love, and to make it worst, they had sex. GOD.

And when you see your friends start to be an item, one by one, soon you also decided to have one. But mostly, the relationship did not end long. Fourth stage, another new experience to encounter. Some friends were lost, some become closer. Most of us will be matured by now. Developed a better thinking, and our perception changed.

One fine day, I know, my close friends, my cousins will have their own family, own life. And I hope I will have one too. Insya allah.

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