I will pray to meet you at the heaven's gate one fine day, daddy.

The usual routines need to be change. The house gets pretty quiet and cold at night, because of the absence of a man, that used to protect us at night. I miss my late beloved dad more these days. I cried yesterday night, sometimes I wish that he would wake up from the grave and comeback alive, sits with us in the dining table, living room. Going holiday together, having dinner outside together, and he would still drive the car, and I would sit behind him. And complaing/talking to him about my school stuffs, my plannings, the handsome dudes. I miss my dad so much.

You know where I get all these courage and strength to carry on with my life, and face the reality? It's all from my friends, (you, people) my cousins, my aunties and uncles, my brother. My mother? She needs us the most, her children. I still keep all my dad's photos with me, in my wallet. His photos, the memories I had with him would always be kept close to my heart, even if it was already in the past.

I slept with mother these few days, nearly to 2 weeks. My mother is top on my list. We talked about dad most of the time, sometimes both of us tried not to cry. They always said that Dad loves me the most, and I never believed. But now, I really believe that Dad loves me the most, Dad loves the family the most. He sacrificed alot for us. If he could come back alive, I would spend more time with him. There were signs that showing us he is leaving. We didn't take extra notice about it.

Dad is going to be my man forever, even though he is already gone. I hope you are doing fine up there, dad. Wait for us at the heaven's gate. Please don't forget us dad, and insya allah, I won't forget you too.

And I would declare, chop, stamp that Babi is no longer exist right now. It's the end. He can suck his own balls, and do whatever he wants. Cause I've given him so many chances and tolerating his nonsensical B.S It's bloody hell over ok. Dad, I know you are reading this, so please go and do something. Someone made your daughter unhappy. Go and haunt him, or give him a bad dream or whatever ah. OK im kidding. Dad, don't do it. you are a nice guy k, wait for us at the heaven's gate. I promise. I love you, dad, and will always do!