i dreamt of late dad yesterday night. it's been quite a long time that i really had one. we were at your cemetery, plucking out the weeds, cleared up the place and suddenly, i just felt that your were with us, sitting around us. your spirit was there, i can just feel it. and i didn't realise that i cry badly in my dream, and i really feel that i am really crying in my sleep. i cried so badly i guess, because i can feel tears rolling on my cheeks. i miss my dad badly. if only he is here, things will be as usual.

sometimes, i sat down and ponder about the things that happened in my life. i wonder if i would really have the courage to continue with it. sometimes, im worried about my mom. because she's left alone. i don't know, sometimes i feel pretty bad to left her alone at home when i'm outside. i don't mind if she's out with her good friends, those friends that can be there for her when she needs it.

sometimes, someday, im just afraid that either one of us will left, and make the other be all alone. i dont want that to happen. i just want her to be with me, and i'll be with her all the time.

i love you, lovely mother. To dear dad, may your soul rest in peace.

May Allah protects you, insya allah.