since it was the petang raya, my mom and i spent most of the time doing the last minute touch-up to the house deco. the first person that i texted to express my sorrow on eve of raya is nurul. she's the one that has experienced the same situation/condition like me.

that feeling keeps me feel so low and depressed. how much i miss my dad right now, and realised that "hey, its the second year celebratin this festive without him" its just tooo depressed to talk about it, and what's more to go through it.

dear dad, i hope you are doing great right now. you are always near to my heart. you are secured to this little chamber at the corner of my heart. i hope you will always look after me and mom. always give blessing to us, the family.

dad, i really miss you alot. i've been trying to keep myself strong and not to think too much about you. because i know, the moment i think about you, too many thoughts will start to come after me and in the end, i will just be so shallow and breakdown for hours.

dad, don't be angry with me if i did not think too much about you these days. its not that i dont want. i want to make myself stronger and achieve those goals that i've been yearning for. i will never put you aside, dad. because you are always close to me, to mom, to brother, to the family.

i love you, ayah

selamat hari raya, maaf zahir dan batin to all.